That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
