Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
