dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
