Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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