Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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