thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
