Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
