I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
