there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
