I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
