I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
