She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize