now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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