Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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