the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
