4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is wine microwaveable?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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