She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
