Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
someone owes me an orgasm
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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