he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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