Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
