Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
