just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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