i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
