Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
