Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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