you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
