You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize