If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
