Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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