were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just pee around me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
