I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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