so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
