My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
