She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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