u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize