There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
