Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
