Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
