She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
