You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
