i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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