dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
