it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
