my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
