I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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