so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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