Porn is love you can see.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
