just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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