Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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