She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
