don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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