just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Houston, we have a blender
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
