what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
