Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
