Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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