Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize