Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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