Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
