he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
