K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
