"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
