The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Even my vagina gasped.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
