so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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