In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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