I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
