Where did you get a picture of my penis
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dicks are not precious.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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