strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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