This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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