he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
